“Do we fight to change things or do we fight to punish?” This question is posed by the Gandhi character in the award-winning film of the same name. Although no record exists of the real Gandhi uttering these words, the sentiment is one he surely would have endorsed. It was his life’s work not to punish others, but rather to change their hearts, minds, and, ultimately, their actions. The same question also must be asked when beginning to work on any therapeutic target, because

One hundred and sixty seven. That’s the number of hours the typical client spends outside of therapy each week, and it is ultimately the time in which real change takes hold. Some people may not initially view the other 167 hours as part of the therapeutic process. They may begin by using therapy as a release valve on their stressful lives, enabling them to ‘let off steam’ for an hour a week and then resume living as before. There is certainly some value in that, but if thera

Some psychologists tend to use “client” and “patient” interchangeably, but there’s an important difference between those terms. For example, a lawyer would never calls the people she assists “patients,” while a surgeon is unlikely to call the people he operates on “clients.” The term “patient” implies someone in need of help who has no skills or strengths to resolve their issues. It suggests a high-to-low relationship of an expert who provides assistance and a person in need

Have you ever watched an ice cube melt? It’s not the most exciting way to spend an afternoon, but it conveys a valuable lesson about the process of change. An ice cube in a typical freezer has a temperature of around 0°F (-18°C). If you take it out of the freezer and set it on a countertop you’ll need to watch it for quite a while until you seen any signs of change, as ice begins turning to water only when it reaches 32°F (0°C). It may seem as though this overt change occurs

To a psychologist, it seems obvious that those seeking to improve their lives would be eager to start therapy. However, the fact is that three common and normal fears often prevent people from getting started. First, you may be anxious about sharing your personal history with a stranger, especially if it includes painful memories. It may be reassuring to know that being in therapy does not in any way obligate you to spill all your secrets. The goal is to help you improve your

As children, we learn how to feel, think and act. Over time, we reinforce these ways of feeling, thinking, and acting until they become psychological habits deeply ingrained within us. Unfortunately, some of these habits may get in the way of happiness, causing emotional harm to ourselves and straining our relationships with others. Thankfully, as adults, we have the ability to change these habits. The first step is gain insight into our habits and where they come from. This